Latest Follow-up

I forgot to write about my last doctor's appointment. I didn't get any labs done. My blood pressure was good, so they let me cut my medication in half again. I go back in four weeks to see if my numbers are still good. If so, I may be able to go off the blood pressure medication entirely. I'm supposed to take my blood pressure 10 times in the next four weeks.

Appointment

12/2 - 106/64, 55 bpm 

Follow-up Blood Pressure

12/8 - 108/69, 60 bpm
12/10 - 113/72, 56 bpm
12/12 - 116/58, 50 bpm
12/14 - 128/83, 60 bpm
12/15 - 114/75, 58 bpm
12/17 - 118/72, 51 bpm
12/18 - 144/86, 54 bpm
12/18 - 138/76, 60 bpm
12/24 - 123/80, 50 bpm
12/30 - 133/78, 55 bpm
1/5 - 128/79, 57 bpm
1/7 - 121/78, 75 bpm

Our new insurance won't cover bariatric visits, so once Medicaid cuts us off, I won't be seeing the bariatric doctor's office anymore. I think that will be fine, but I will miss the follow-up.

UPDATE: I have been given permission to go off my blood pressure medication. WAHOO! I have to wait until I'm finished taking a series of antibiotics for bronchitis because that medication causes an increase in blood pressure. After that, I can go off it, but I have to keep track of my blood pressure for a couple of weeks to make sure it's still okay. Once that happens, the only prescription medication I will have to take is medication for my hypothyroidism and magnesium for my heart due to absorption issues that result from the surgery. This is so exciting for me!

A Loss is a Loss!

I haven't lost weight since July 28. I've fluctuated between 205.2 lbs. and 207.something. It's been a little frustrating. Today I weighed 205! It's only a .2 loss, but a loss is a loss! So as of today I've lost 91.5 and have 55 to go to goal. Honestly, I don't care if I ever reach goal. I want to get under 200 lbs. and if I could get in the 170's, I would be content. I would also like to have my BMI be out of the obese range.

I took my measurements for the first time since March 15. I have lost two additional inches off my waist and two off my hips.

Here are my total stats:

Heaviest Weight - 296.5

Today's Weight - 205

Starting BMI - 49

Today's BMI - 34.1

And here are my inches lost:

Waist - 12

Hips - 11.5

Bust - 3.5

Thigh - 3.5

Bicep - 2

TOTAL - 32.5 inches

I did another closet purge because some of my clothes were just too big to wear anymore. I got a couple of things at Old Navy and a few more things at Goodwill. Most of what I buy is size 16, but I was even able to fit into a size 14 pair of pants. I think I was in my early 20's the last time I wore a size 14.

Size 24 and size 14

Another NSV is that today for the first time in a VERY long time, I tucked in my shirt.

NSV - Disney World

We are currently at Disney World. The last time we were here was about 12 years ago. I was shocked when I looked at the pictures from the last visit. I knew that my energy level this trip was so much higher. My feet don't hurt, I can do any ride I want to. I am able to walk all day without getting tired. It's a completely different experience. There was one point today where I was holding Jalen on my shoulders and my feet started killing me. I realized that I used to carry twice that amount around on my poor feet.

I have noticed so many obese people at Disneyland. Many of them are on motarized scooters. I wonder if they are disabled or just unable to move themselves around the park all day. I'm so grateful that I am not one of them because I know that without this surgery, I would have become one of them eventually.

I am able to be the mother that I always wanted to be. I am able to keep up with my children. I am able to share their joys. I am so grateful!

I'm a Triathlete!

I don't really think that's correct to say since I only did one of the three legs, but I got the t-shirt, so what the heck?

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider competing in a triathlon. My three brothers all run triathlons and I've been to a few. I've always admired them while secretly thinking they were crazy.

My brothers Clark and Erik were scheduled to run a triathlon in central Utah - the San Rafael - and Erik's wife, Shanelle, suggested that we should join the race as a relay team. I would do the swim, she would bike and David would run. I love to swim and that has been my preferred workout since surgery, so I said okay. What was I thinking?!! While I was terrified, I was really excited to push myself to do something difficult. I hadn't really pushed myself physically in a very long time.

The swim was 750 meters, approximately 1/2 mile. So my first step was to swim that distance in a pool. I was very relieved when I was able to do so without much trouble. I did it in 32 minutes. The next step was an open water swim. My brother Erik was my companion in all the training.  I wore my dad's wetsuit and the swim did not go well. I couldn't catch my breath and my heart was racing. I spent a lot of time swimming on my back or trying to breaststroke. It was exhausting and I hyperventilated at the end. I was terrified that I had signed up for something I wouldn't be able to do, but I was far too competitive to quit.

I continued pool swimming to train and tried to find a woman's wetsuit to rent, but had no luck. Erik and I did another free swim and I decided to just try it in my regular swimming suit. I was so relieved to find that I did just fine. I was slow, but steady and I didn't have to do any back or breaststroke. I felt confident that I would be able to complete my leg of the race.

The race is held in a campground. It's really a pretty setting and was fun for the whole family. I did a small pre-race swim just to get used to the reservoir. I tried not to overdo it, but it got really windy, which made swimming hard. I was hoping it wouldn't be windy for the race.

I didn't sleep well the two nights before the race and got up at about 3:30 a.m. the morning of the race. By 5:30 a.m., there was loud music blaring and announcements being broadcast throughout the campground. Things were underway. I was excited, but nervous.

My brothers were so supportive of me. It meant a lot to me to share this experience with them. They competed in the Olympic distance, which means they swam the course twice. They both passed me in the water during their second lap, but I found that encouraging rather than discouraging.

Before the race. I seriously need a wetsuit (and a new swim bra).

Our team: Shanelle, me and David.

I went a very slow and steady pace. I only beat about four people time wise, although there were more in the water behind me because the women's sprint started after the relay teams. I could have gone a little faster, but I was afraid of running out of energy at the end, so I just maintained my rhythmn.

It was kind of funny because I would catch up to men who were breaststroking, but when they saw I was a woman, they would sprint ahead and then start breaststroking again until I caught up to them again. They didn't want to be passed up by a woman.

It was a great feeling to come out of the water and know that I had accomplished this amazing feat. I completed the swim and I never had to back or breaststroke. I freestyled the entire thing. I did it in 30 minutes, which is about the same as what I do in a pool. My next goal is to take about 10 minutes off my time.

Shanelle and David were amazing in their legs. We were all shocked to find out that we took third place. (There were only four teams, but hey, we placed!) I was kind of bummed that we only got certificates and didn't get to stand on a podium, but my goal had been to just finish, so I was satisfied with the results.

In fact, everyone in our family placed. My brother Clark took first overall in the men's Olympic and Erik took second. In the kid's triathlon, my niece Molly was the first girl and her sister Lily was third. My nephew Kolton was the second boy. Team Bayles was well represented! 

Erik had made us all Team Bayles triathlon shirts and each family chose a color. Our family shirts were black.

I am so grateful to be part of such a supportive family.

Later David asked my parents what their favorite part of the weekend was. My mom said that it was being with family, but my dad spoke up and said that his favorite part was seeing me come out of the water. That means a lot to me.

A year ago, there is no way I could have done any of this. It is amazing to me that I have been given this second chance at life. I hope to take advantage of every opportunity. I am even looking forward to doing this again next year!

FIRST ANNIVERSARY!

One year ago today, I had life saving surgery that not only prolonged my life, but has improved the quality of my life immeasurably. I have never regretted making this choice. And I hope to never take this gift and opportunity at a second chance for granted.

Shortly after having the surgery, I decided that I wanted to run a 5K. (I don't know what I was thinking!) I invited my family - of very fit people - to join me and I was really excited that so many of them were willing to do so. I have spent the past year training and have had some ups and downs, but last week was the day.

My dad and I went to pick up the race packet for everyone in our family. They were organized by bib number, which was determined by when you registered.

Here are the 14 bibs for our family. We actually had 16 racers, but the two youngest kids didn't get registered.

Here are some of us before the race. My kids and mom did the mile race instead of the 5K. Pictured here with me and David are my dad, my sister in law, Shanelle, and her four boys. My brother, Erik, had started running from his house about 20 minutes away and caught up with us shortly after the race started.

We didn't run the whole thing. We probably ended up running about a third of it. David could have run me into the ground, but he wanted to stay with me. Gotta love him.

Here is a shot of all the racers. We are joined here by my mom and kids, my brother Scott, his wife, Beth, and their two children.

I later found out that neither of my amazing sister in laws had ever run a 5K before. They are both incredibly physically fit, but they trained for the 5K so they could do it with me. I really lucked out in the sister-in-law department.

You can go HERE to see the results, locate a specific runner and even watch them cross the finish line. As you can see from the awesome certificate I can print for myself, I took 70 out of 77 for my age group. At least I wasn't last!

I was so proud of myself, I wore my medal all day.

Two of my siblings weren't able to run with me. My sister, Tiffani, was in the Outer Banks in North Carolina, but she ran anyway, just to show her support of me. Here is her facebook post about the occasion:

I am so blessed to have so much support. I belong to a couple of support groups and I often read of others who do not have the support of family or loved ones. That has never been the case for me.

Perhaps most shocking of all is the fact that I agreed to run the swimming leg of a triathlon with David and Shanelle next week. I am TERRIFIED, but really excited to try it. The swim is 1/2 mile. I tested myself in a swimming pool last week and was able to swim the half mile in 32 minutes. It will be completely different in open water. Erik and I are going to a local reservoir tomorrow so I can practice. I even squoze myself into my dad's wetsuit. (Not pretty!)

My life is so different from what it was a year ago. I am truly blessed to have been given this second chance.

One Year Bariatric Visit

I'm going to be out of town on the anniversary of my surgery so I had my annual follow-up today. At the appointment, they took my photo and measured my waist. Then they gave me the picture and the one they took of me at my first bariatric appointment. I was most surprised at the change in my waistline. It's 34 cm. smaller. That's just over 13 inches - over a foot - off my waist! That's hard to even wrap my mind around.

I was disappointed because my blood pressure was 122/84, which is slightly higher than normal (less than 120/80). I was hoping it would be closer to where it was at my last two doctor's appointments so we could try and take me off the blood pressure medicine. Oh well.

My vitamin D and Magnesium are in the normal range, but just barely. I'll probably have to keep taking pills for those the rest of my life. The rest of my labs were all normal.

I finally got fed up with my thin hair and decided to wack it all off. It didn't turn out exactly like I hoped, but I think after it grows out just a little it will be great. It does feel good to have it all short and ready to start over. I hope it grows in healthier.

11 Months!

I can't believe I am almost to the one-year mark. In some ways it seems like I just had surgery, but in others my life has changed so drastically that it seems it was years ago. I think the biggest benefit of the surgery is that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I have no illusions about how I look. I still weigh over 200 pounds and I will always have saggy skin, but for the first time in my life, I am happy with my physical appearance. I even wear a swimsuit without worrying about it. This is life altering for me in a way that is impossible to convey. As a child, I used to pray over and over that I would wake up and find that I had been living in a dream and that I was really thin. I would hope that I would find that my body was a fat suit that I could unzip and take off. In a way, I feel like that is what has happened this year. I have stepped out of my fat suit.

I often ask David to show me people who look like I looked or I try to compare myself to people that we see. David doesn't notice weight, so he has a hard time doing this. Yesterday, David and I were at a park and he pointed to a woman sitting on a nearby bench. He told me that he thought she was about the size I was before surgery. I was shocked. I wanted to cry - first for that poor woman who was trapped in that body and secondly because I couldn't bear to think of myself that way. I am so grateful for this new life I have been given.

The dress in my picture this month isn't very fitted and doesn't show my weight loss, until you compare it to it used to look like on me. The thing that surprised me the most is how long the dress is now. It's actually too big, so I don't know if I should wear it anymore.

Heaviest weight: 296.5

Surgery weight: 274.5

Today's weight: 206.6 

(I've been down as low as 205.4)
Total pounds lost: 89.9 lbs.

Starting BMI: 49

Today's BMI: 34.4

My only downsides are my continued hair loss and the fact that I think my face looks older. I have always had thick, beautiful hair and it is so thin now. Not just the fact that there's not much of it, but I also feel like the actual strands of hair aren't as thick and full as they used to be. It's okay. I'll take the trade off. On the plus side, my hair hasn't been this curly since I was a little girl. In the below picture, all I did was add some gel and run my fingers through it. The curls are 100% natural. I don't love the front of my hair though, so I think I'm going to cut it super short.

Highlights of the past month have been impressing the first graders with my jump roping skills and stick dancing at the Relief Society luau. I wouldn't have been able to do either a year ago. I even did a few cartwheels this month! I'm still hoping to be under 200 pounds by my one-year anniversary and I'll be running the 5K a couple of days before then. So here's hoping for a great month!

One challenge I worry about is my sweet Baylie. She is really worried about her weight. She worries that one day she will need my surgery. I don't know how to help her with this. Because I grew up so focused on my body, we have tried very hard not to do that with our kids, but we live in a body-focused society and she hears it somewhere. We're trying to focus on eating healthy and getting exercise and teaching our children that all people are built differently and our body shape doesn't matter. She still worries that her belly is too big and she even cries about it sometimes. I don't know how to undo that.

Still Got Milk?

About six months ago, I posted about the trouble I have with milk ever since surgery. Today David made me a protein shake. Within five minutes, I felt like I was completely wiped out and needed to lay down. I commented to David that it felt like my shake had been made with milk instead of almond milk. He realized that he forgot and had made it that way. I was shocked to find that my body still reacted the same way and that even though I had no idea he had used milk, the effect was definitely the same - although not quite as drastic. It's so weird because I have no trouble at all with other dairy products.

I think I'll go take a nap!

5K Realities

My 5K training is NOT going well. Last week I decided to run and just see how long I could go without having to walk. I made it 15 minutes before I ran out of gas and before my hip pain got unbearable. After that, I walked for 5, ran for 5, etc. until I completed 30 minutes.

I'm not worried about finishing the 5K, but there is no way I'm going to be able to run the whole thing. I'm disappointed, but realize that walking it is still better than what I could have done a year ago. After running, it kills my hip to even walk for a couple of days, so I am no longer trying to train by running. I'm just sticking to swimming. Once this 5K is completed, I don't care if I ever run again.

I paid my entry fee so I wouldn't be able to back out. Heaven help me!

Latest Doctor's Appointments

I had two doctor's appointments this week. On Wednesday, I saw my family practitioner and on Friday, the cardiologist.

While at the family practitioner's, I was sitting in the hallway and my doctor walked by. He didn't recognize me. He smiled and was friendly, but it was obvious it didn't register for him who I was. He came back a minute later and told me as much. My weight loss plus my change in hair color caused the confusion.

The visit went very well. My blood pressure was only 118/73, which is normal. I'm not sure when the last time was that I had a normal blood pressure. I'm hopeful that soon I can go off blood pressure medicine.

My Estimated Average Glucose was 111 (5.5%). This number continues to decrease and is considered normal. I also learned that when my thyroid was tested in February, it was only .5, which is a little low. They tested me again and may need to decrease my prescription, which would be cool.

The cardiologist visit was also good. I didn't note the numbers and they aren't available in the system, but I know my blood pressure was 108/something. My pulse and EKG were lower than normal, but since I don't have trouble feeling light headed and my energy levels are good, it isn't a concern. Never in my life have I had an EKG that didn't show up abnormal and have to be followed up with an echocardiogram. I don't have to go back to the cardiologist again.

My health continues to improve and it is remarkable to me.

Today I was at a recital and ran into one of David's classmates that has been a guest in our home several times. I greeted him warmly, but he didn't recognize me. It was awkward and embarrassing, but also kind of amazing. Once he figured out who I was, things were back to normal.

Happy Mother's Day!

My kids are the reason I had this surgery in the first place. I'm so happy to celebrate this day with them.

WEIGH IN!!

Today, after a month of not weighing myself, I finally did an official weigh in. I have lost 4.4 pounds! This is fantastic because I was terrified that I would have gained 10 or something horrible like that. I knew my clothes were still loose, so I was hoping that I would have lost. I still wish it were faster, but I'm grateful for any loss. It became almost as stressful to wait a month to weigh in, so I don't want to do that again, but I also think weighing every day becomes stressful and discouraging. I think I'll just start weighing whenever I want and at least once a week.

Today marks 10 months since my surgery. I really hope to have lost 100 pounds by the year mark, but it may not happen. I recently had a birthday and it was amazing to think of the difference between how I feel now and how I felt last year.

 Heaviest weight: 296.5

Surgery weight: 274.5

Today's weight: 207.8
Total pounds lost: 88.7 lbs.

Starting BMI: 49

Today's BMI: 34.6

Back when I was preparing for the surgery, I made a list of things I was excited about doing once I had lost some weight. (you can read that post HERE). I thought it would be interesting to go back and look at that list and see how many of those things I have been able to do.

• Hugging my husband without my belly getting in the way (same for slow dancing) - CHECK!
• Sleeping without a CPap - CHECK!
• Sliding into a booth at a restaurant without worrying that I won't fit - CHECK!
• Buckling my seat belt on an airplane without having to ask for an extension - CHECK!
• Lowering the tray table on said airplane - CHECK!
• Picking something off the floor while buckled into the seat belt on a plane or in the car - CHECK!
• Being carried by my husband - CHECK! (well, sort of)
• Fitting into an assigned seat at a theater or stadium - CHECK!
• Holding my laptop on my lap - CHECK!
• Holding my kids on my lap - CHECK!
• Trying on clothes - CHECK!
• Crossing my legs - CHECK!
• Holding my hands in my lap instead of my arms crossed over my belly - CHECK!
• Helping my kids ride their bikes - haven't tried this one
• Wearing a cute bra - CHECK!
• Feeling comfortable in a swimming suit (is that even possible?) - CHECK!
• Going out with the women in my family and not feeling like the ugly duckling - undecided
• Not being tired all the time - I'm still tired pretty much all the time
• Riding all the rides at Disneyland (except Magic Mountain, it makes me nauseous) - pending
• Being a better example for my daughter - in progress

I am seriously shocked at how many of these have been accomplished.

At the same time I posted the above list, I also listed some things I was worried about.

• Losing my hair - I'm not a big fan of my hair these days, but I'll take the trade.
• Dying during surgery (I'm terrified of not waking up from anesthesia) - I survived.
• Being awake during surgery, but not able to let the doctors know I can feel everything - I didn't wake up.
• Looking older and wizened (more wrinkles) - My neck is pretty wrinkly, but I think the rest of me looks younger.
• Excessive saggy skin - I have it. Especially my arms, inner thighs and stomach, but again, I'll take the trade off.
• Looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself - I did go through that for a time, but I'm used to my new face.
• Being thirsty. (I drink a lot of water and that will have to stop.) - I'm much less thirsty. Apparently my excessive thirst was a sign of high blood sugar.
• Insomnia (some people suffer from this after the surgery) - I don't have insomnia, but it is a lot harder for me to fall asleep than it was before. A LOT HARDER.
• Not losing weight despite the surgery - 88 pounds and counting!
• Gaining the weight back - I will have to stay aware and fight hard to prevent myself from slipping back.

I feel like a winner!

NSV - Buying clothes

Today I bought a pair of shorts at Old Navy. They're 16's! That's big news for me.

The fact that I can buy clothes that fit at Old Navy is something that practically makes me giddy. (And I am not a giddy kind of girl.)

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Here are a couple of pictures of me last year on my birthday. I don't even recognize myself in these pictures.

And here I am yesterday in an apron I bought with some birthday money from my in-laws. I am so happy with the new me.

I had hoped to lose 100 pounds by my birthday. I don't think I'm there, but I'm not sure because I'm not weighing myself again until May 7. I have lost 90 though, so I'm happy with that. I feel 10 years younger than I did last year and I feel like I have a much longer life ahead of me. That is the best birthday gift of all.

NSV - Endurance - Update

Just FYI - after swimming freestyle for 30 minutes straight for the first time, you are VERY VERY sore. For several days.

NSV - Endurance

My behind looks humongous in this picture, but it's cool that David can actually pick me up now. Not for long, but at least he can do it!

As for my non-scale victory, today I decided to swim freestyle for as long as I could without taking a break and swimming breast stroke. Normally I just do 3-4 laps and then swim a break lap, but today I did the full 30 minutes freestyle. It wasn't even hard. I was so proud of myself! I want to try the same thing with running, but I'm not sure how long my hip will hold out.

I'm trying to build up endurance for the 5K. I also need to do something different if I'm going to lose more weight. Doing the same things will not work anymore. I have two weeks and two days to go before I weigh myself again. I'm still terrified of what I might find when I do, but I'm enjoying the break.

NSV

My latest non scale victory was going jogging with David earlier this week. He was surprised that I could keep up with him and that I lasted as long as I did (about 15 minutes). I actually did fine endurance wise, but my hip was killing me. I really don't know what I'm going to do about my hip. This 5K is going to be interesting.

Short Sunday

Today I wore a short dress to church. When I say short, I don't mean a mini-skirt, just knee-length. For me, this is really short because I usually go at least mid-calf. I was self conscious about it, but I received a lot of compliments, which made me feel good. It was also a fitted dress, which is pretty new for me.

It has been liberating to not weigh myself every day, but it is also a little stressful since I'm afraid I'll get on the scales in a month and find I've gained 10 pounds. All I can do is focus on eating right and getting in enough exercise. I'm not sure I'm doing enough of either of those. I'm also not getting enough sleep. Those are all things I need to focus on this week.

Nine Months

Today makes nine months since my surgery. So many things about my health and physical appearance have changed since then and all for the better.

This past weekend, I went camping with my family. I was amazed at how much easier it was for me to get around, how much more stamina I had for family activities and how much easier it was to sleep on the ground. My husband forgot the pump for the air mattress and I was sure that after sleeping on the ground, I wouldn't be able to move the next morning. I was shocked to find that I wasn't sore at all. There are so many unexpected benefits to losing this much weight. I try to focus on these things when I get discouraged.

As I mentioned in a previous post, it has been a rough month. Several things in my life are not going the way I would like them to, including my weight loss. In the past, this would cause me to eat from stress, but I am battling that and determined not to turn to food for a stress reliever. This takes conscious effort on my part.

I also need to cut at least one stressful thing from my life, so I've made the difficult decision to not weigh myself for the next month. I weigh myself at least once a day. It's an obsession. When the scale isn't moving as fast as I want it to, this causes me great disappointment and stress. Consequently, I will not step on the scales again until my 10 month surgery anniversary. Hopefully this ends up being a good thing and not a disaster. I'm excited to find out.

Setbacks and Compliments

It has been a rough month weight wise. I replaced the batteries in my scale and immediately jumped up four pounds. Then I had a little cake and ice cream at my daughter's birthday - and by little, I mean really little - and I gained two pounds. I haven't been able to get any of it off. Tomorrow is another anniversary date and for the first time I will have gained from one month to the next. It's incredibly discouraging and it's hard to stay on task. Even harder with all the Easter candy around here and I have not resisted temptation as well as I should have. 

One thing that keeps me going is the fact that I get a lot of compliments. It helps remind me that I'm still a long way from where I was, and that one little set back doesn't need to derail everything.

I was looking through some old pictures and was so shocked to see how much I have changed. That helps too. Now I just need to get back on track and I will also need to increase my workout time if I'm going to see any difference.

On another note, I colored my hair! I'm not convinced that I like it. David and the kids have said they don't like it, so I'll probably go back to gray. I would like to try it a little darker because the reddish color just doesn't look like me.