I've Lost My Son

My son Jalen weighs 49.5 pounds. As of today, I have lost as much as Jalen weighs. I have lost a little person! My son is solid as a rock and not easy to carry. Kind of amazing to think that I have lost that much weight and am no longer carrying it around.

Positive Note: My shoes are all starting to be too big!
Challenging Note: I love being more active, but I miss my Aleve!

I Am a Vegetarian!

Please pause for the sound of my grandad rolling over in his grave. My dad would do the same, but he's still alive.

Before anyone freaks out, I should clarify that I love meat. I think meat is great. I think God gave us animals so we could eat them (well, most of them and sparingly). I was raised on steak and potatoes. My grandad was a cattle rancher and my dad's mission companion was a potato farmer from Idaho, so that was staple food in our household. Growing up, my dad didn't consider it a meal if it didn't include meat.

However, I can no longer stand the taste (and usually the smell) of meat. I don't know why. My body has changed in a lot of ways and this is just one of them. Perhaps it will change in the future, but for now I get my protein from shakes (which is ironic since I didn't use to like milk), cottage cheese, refried beans, almonds and cheese. All very tasty!

Have You Had Your Vitamins Today?

I've written about how excited I am to be off my diabetes medication and about having my blood pressure medicine cut in half. The flip side of that is my body now has trouble absorbing all the nutrients it needs because my food no longer spends as much time in the small intestine. Consequently, I have to be sure and take vitamins, and they have to be the right kind of vitamins.

Fortunately, Celebrate makes vitamins especially for bariatric patients. Even better, they have a special program for people with financial need, so I get my vitamins completely free. (If you think you might qualify, go HERE to fill out a form to get started.)

These vitamins are HUGE! I have to take two multi-vitamins and three calcium tablets every day. The calcium tablets are about as round as a quarter and the multi-vitamins are really thick. Fortunately, they are chewable. I don't think I could swallow them. Unfortunately, I can't take the calcium tablets within two hours of each other or two hours of taking the multi-vitamin, so I have to keep track of the times and spread it out throughout the day.

Best of all  they're really tasty! It's almost like giving myself a treat. (I chose the berry flavored ones.)

Our New Reality

Tonight in Baylie's prayer, she included, "Please help mom to not eat too much and throw up." This has obviously been a new reality for all of us. I don't think I throw up a lot, but if I eat too much or eat something that my body isn't ready for, it comes right back up. My kids have learned that if I leave the room, I'm probably going to throw up. 

Sometimes I feel like it's going too slowly and nothing changes, but then I come across an old picture and realize that I am changing, slowly but surely.

By the Numbers

Below is a comparison of some of my numbers before and after surgery.

Weight

• Before - 294.5
• After - 249.5

BMI

• Before - 49
• After - 41.5 (still obese, but getting better)

Blood Pressure

• Before - 146/74
• After - 135/75 (last check up it was 109/78 so my meds were cut in half)

Blood Sugar

• Before - 135 
• After -97 (without medication)

Non HDL Cholesterol

• Before - 136
• After - 76

LDL Cholesterol

• Before - 119
• After - 62

Cholesterol

• Before - 184
• After - 117

Triglycerides

• Before - 104
• After - 84

AST (liver)

• Before - 55 (101 back in October)
• After - 34

ALT (liver)

• Before - 95 (120 in October)
• After - 48

So far my iron and calcium levels are good. This can be a challenge after surgery because of malabsorption. Good news!

Six Weeks Post Op Visit

I've lost 44 pounds and have 100.5 to go. I almost have less than 100 to lose and I weigh less than 100 pounds more than David. These are positives for me, even though they're still big numbers.

The doctor's visit went great. Judy, the nurse practitioner, says I'm a model patient and that I'm doing great. I had lab work done, but I won't get the results for another week. My blood pressure is good (135/75), but not good enough to go completely off my meds, so I have to keep taking the half dose.

Here are my questions and answers from today.

• I qualify for a bariatric vitamin assistance program with Celebrate Vitamins. This means I can get free vitamins that are designed specifically for bariatric patients. I needed to know which ones to take. I will be taking the complete version that includes iron and I will also get calcium pills from them. That means I won't have to buy B1 or B12 or multivitamins anymore.
• Are there still restrictions on how much I can lift? No.
• Can I start swimming? Yes. Basically I can do anything now, but I have to pay attention to my body and not over strain.
• What can I eat now? I can start trying to eat anything. My portion sizes have to stay the same. Dry food will be easier to tolerate than gummy food. (For example, toast will be easier to eat than regular bread.) If something I eat results in throw up with blood (this happened earlier with a tortilla), I have to go back to soft food for 24 hours.
• How much protein should I aim for now? 60-80 grams.
• Do I still need to test my blood? NO!! (This is fantastic!)

I feel great. I no longer have pain although my left side is still a little sensitive to the touch. I still get really tired and need a nap most days, but overall things couldn't be better. I realized that I no longer cough all the time and I'm not obsessed with my mortality. I no longer worry about when I'm going to die.

Small Victories

Today I was able to cross my legs for the first time in a VERY long time.

Hope You Can Stomach This

I thought I would post an update of my stomach so you could see what my scars are looking like now. For the most part, they are healed, but still pretty red. The two that are where my waist band rubs are still tender at times and I still have a little bit of bruising. David pointed out that as I lose weight, my scars are moving closer together. Interesting. (This will be the last picture you will see of my stomach - you're welcome - unless it turns into rock hard abs like Jillian Michaels'.)

Pluses: My clothes, especially my pants, are fitting much more loosely than before. Some clothes that were uncomfortable are now baggy. I'm starting to get comments from people that are noticing the weight loss.

Challenges: I have a hard time falling asleep. Not sure why. I've also learned that I can't eat tortillas yet. Learned that the hard way. I've also had a couple other throw up experiences. I'm getting used to this new body by trial and error. (Things are different going in and coming out. It's weird to have my body not work the way I'm used to.)

One of the hardest things is not being able to take Excedrin Migraine or Aleve. I can't fight off a migraine or body aches.

But overall, I'm feeling great. I don't have any pain at all. I do get really tired, but I think that's the result of so few calories. I'm very happy with the decision to have surgery.

UDPATE: One other major change is that I now get COLD! I have always been prone to feeling hot. When other people are freezing, I'm begging for the air to be cranked up. Now I keep nudging up the thermostat in the house and the car. I freeze in church. This is a completely new sensation for me.

My Hate Affair With Running

I don't like to run. Never have. When I was younger, my parents would wake me up and take me running. I know it was their effort to help me be more healthy and overcome my weight problem. Looking back, it was a pretty awesome thing to do. But at the time, I would actually try to land on the side of my foot and sprain my ankle so I could get out of it.

When I was in high school my dad and I would wake up early and run around a lake. That was the closest I ever came to enjoying running. We would even run in freezing weather and there was something about running in the crisp air by a beautiful lake that made it invigorating. But even then, I was just as happy to sleep in.

It's ironic because all my siblings love to run. They NEED to run. I don't know if I'll ever be that way.

But, I have set a goal to run a 5K next summer. 

On the 4th of July to be exact. I'm more than a little nervous about it. But I'm excited because several members of my family are going to run with me. So far, my parents, my brother Scott, his wife Beth, and my sister-in-law Shanelle have agreed to run. Shanelle even agreed to go slow with me. My sister Tiffani will be in a different city from the rest of us, but she will run too (if her hamstring will let her).

I've printed out a training program to prepare. Currently I can still only walk, but hopefully soon I'll be able to run. I'll try not to sprain my ankle.

PAIN FREE! (sung to the tune of Born Free)

Today is the 4-week anniversary of my surgery and the first day I have woken up without pain. Wahoo!! I've even cleaned the top floor of the house and swept the kitchen floor! I have soreness and a twinge here and there, but basically no pain. I finally feel human again!

P.S. If you have two little kids who like playing in the dirt and you can't bend down and scrub your tub for four weeks, it's REALLY gross when you finally get down there. (Same goes for the base of the toilet if your young son has aiming issues.)

4 Weeks

Tomorrow makes four weeks since the surgery. I took a photo the night before surgery, so I took another today. I don't see much difference, but my chin is skinnier and I have more definition in my cheeks. Plus, I'm off diabetes medicine and my blood pressure medicine has been cut in half. Slowly but surely things are starting to change.

Heaviest weight: 294.5

Surgery weight: 272.5

Today's weight: 257.5

I thought I would show a close up of my face. It's blurry, but that's where I tend to notice my weight loss first.

June - July - August

Public Outings

I've faced my first two challenges and done very well. (Pat on my back.) It's easy to follow the plan when I'm home and have total control over when and what I eat, but I've been worried about when real life steps in and I have to adjust.

The first experience was on Thursday when a friend invited me and the kids to eat at Fatz Café. I had never been to Fatz and wasn't sure what I'd be able to eat. I ended up ordering a baked potato from the side dish menu and eating half of it. I even ate it "loaded" because the sour cream adds protein to my diet and it's hard for me to get in all my protein. It had bacon on it and I ended up having to pick that off because I could tell after the first bite that I couldn't chew it enough to get it to digest properly. I ended up eating the rest of the potato for dinner later that evening. Before they brought out the meal, they gave us a plate of rolls that are supposedly amazing. In the past, I would have had 2-4 rolls before the meal arrived. I love bread. I wasn't hungry for the rolls and I knew I probably wouldn't be able to digest them, so I just took a very small pinch off of one to get the taste. It was all I needed. 

Today I had to attend an all-day meeting for my church calling. They had muffins and fruit for breakfast, M&M's (including peanut -  my favorite!) on the table, and pizza for lunch. I love pizza. I drank a protein shake before I went to the meeting and took my own cottage cheese for lunch. I did end up going to a different room to eat because I didn't want to be conspicuous. I don't think anyone even noticed that I did anything different. Overall it was easier than I expected. (Although sitting in a chair all day about killed my abdomen!)

Fortunately, at this stage in my journey, I really don't get hungry and nothing feels irresistible. Plus, I've had the experience of trying to eat too much and having it come right back up because it didn't fit. I'm sure at some point, these challenges will be more difficult, but for today it wasn't hard. 

Gulp!

One of my hidden (but awesome) talents is that I can gulp down a glass of water faster than anyone I've ever met. It's true. I have never been defeated in a gulping contest. It even earned me some cred with my seminary class because one of the young men was sure he could beat me and I wasted him.

I realized a couple of days ago that I will never be able to gulp down a glass of water again. I know it's a stupid thing to care about, but it was a sad moment for me.

At least my undefeated record will go untarnished!

(I also used to be able to take a bunch of pills at once. Now I have trouble taking two at a time.)

NOTE: And in the positive updates department - I now weigh less than 100 pounds more than my husband. Wahoo!