A Loss is a Loss!

I haven't lost weight since July 28. I've fluctuated between 205.2 lbs. and 207.something. It's been a little frustrating. Today I weighed 205! It's only a .2 loss, but a loss is a loss! So as of today I've lost 91.5 and have 55 to go to goal. Honestly, I don't care if I ever reach goal. I want to get under 200 lbs. and if I could get in the 170's, I would be content. I would also like to have my BMI be out of the obese range.

I took my measurements for the first time since March 15. I have lost two additional inches off my waist and two off my hips.

Here are my total stats:

Heaviest Weight - 296.5

Today's Weight - 205

Starting BMI - 49

Today's BMI - 34.1

And here are my inches lost:

Waist - 12

Hips - 11.5

Bust - 3.5

Thigh - 3.5

Bicep - 2

TOTAL - 32.5 inches

I did another closet purge because some of my clothes were just too big to wear anymore. I got a couple of things at Old Navy and a few more things at Goodwill. Most of what I buy is size 16, but I was even able to fit into a size 14 pair of pants. I think I was in my early 20's the last time I wore a size 14.

Size 24 and size 14

Another NSV is that today for the first time in a VERY long time, I tucked in my shirt.

NSV - Disney World

We are currently at Disney World. The last time we were here was about 12 years ago. I was shocked when I looked at the pictures from the last visit. I knew that my energy level this trip was so much higher. My feet don't hurt, I can do any ride I want to. I am able to walk all day without getting tired. It's a completely different experience. There was one point today where I was holding Jalen on my shoulders and my feet started killing me. I realized that I used to carry twice that amount around on my poor feet.

I have noticed so many obese people at Disneyland. Many of them are on motarized scooters. I wonder if they are disabled or just unable to move themselves around the park all day. I'm so grateful that I am not one of them because I know that without this surgery, I would have become one of them eventually.

I am able to be the mother that I always wanted to be. I am able to keep up with my children. I am able to share their joys. I am so grateful!

I'm a Triathlete!

I don't really think that's correct to say since I only did one of the three legs, but I got the t-shirt, so what the heck?

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider competing in a triathlon. My three brothers all run triathlons and I've been to a few. I've always admired them while secretly thinking they were crazy.

My brothers Clark and Erik were scheduled to run a triathlon in central Utah - the San Rafael - and Erik's wife, Shanelle, suggested that we should join the race as a relay team. I would do the swim, she would bike and David would run. I love to swim and that has been my preferred workout since surgery, so I said okay. What was I thinking?!! While I was terrified, I was really excited to push myself to do something difficult. I hadn't really pushed myself physically in a very long time.

The swim was 750 meters, approximately 1/2 mile. So my first step was to swim that distance in a pool. I was very relieved when I was able to do so without much trouble. I did it in 32 minutes. The next step was an open water swim. My brother Erik was my companion in all the training.  I wore my dad's wetsuit and the swim did not go well. I couldn't catch my breath and my heart was racing. I spent a lot of time swimming on my back or trying to breaststroke. It was exhausting and I hyperventilated at the end. I was terrified that I had signed up for something I wouldn't be able to do, but I was far too competitive to quit.

I continued pool swimming to train and tried to find a woman's wetsuit to rent, but had no luck. Erik and I did another free swim and I decided to just try it in my regular swimming suit. I was so relieved to find that I did just fine. I was slow, but steady and I didn't have to do any back or breaststroke. I felt confident that I would be able to complete my leg of the race.

The race is held in a campground. It's really a pretty setting and was fun for the whole family. I did a small pre-race swim just to get used to the reservoir. I tried not to overdo it, but it got really windy, which made swimming hard. I was hoping it wouldn't be windy for the race.

I didn't sleep well the two nights before the race and got up at about 3:30 a.m. the morning of the race. By 5:30 a.m., there was loud music blaring and announcements being broadcast throughout the campground. Things were underway. I was excited, but nervous.

My brothers were so supportive of me. It meant a lot to me to share this experience with them. They competed in the Olympic distance, which means they swam the course twice. They both passed me in the water during their second lap, but I found that encouraging rather than discouraging.

Before the race. I seriously need a wetsuit (and a new swim bra).

Our team: Shanelle, me and David.

I went a very slow and steady pace. I only beat about four people time wise, although there were more in the water behind me because the women's sprint started after the relay teams. I could have gone a little faster, but I was afraid of running out of energy at the end, so I just maintained my rhythmn.

It was kind of funny because I would catch up to men who were breaststroking, but when they saw I was a woman, they would sprint ahead and then start breaststroking again until I caught up to them again. They didn't want to be passed up by a woman.

It was a great feeling to come out of the water and know that I had accomplished this amazing feat. I completed the swim and I never had to back or breaststroke. I freestyled the entire thing. I did it in 30 minutes, which is about the same as what I do in a pool. My next goal is to take about 10 minutes off my time.

Shanelle and David were amazing in their legs. We were all shocked to find out that we took third place. (There were only four teams, but hey, we placed!) I was kind of bummed that we only got certificates and didn't get to stand on a podium, but my goal had been to just finish, so I was satisfied with the results.

In fact, everyone in our family placed. My brother Clark took first overall in the men's Olympic and Erik took second. In the kid's triathlon, my niece Molly was the first girl and her sister Lily was third. My nephew Kolton was the second boy. Team Bayles was well represented! 

Erik had made us all Team Bayles triathlon shirts and each family chose a color. Our family shirts were black.

I am so grateful to be part of such a supportive family.

Later David asked my parents what their favorite part of the weekend was. My mom said that it was being with family, but my dad spoke up and said that his favorite part was seeing me come out of the water. That means a lot to me.

A year ago, there is no way I could have done any of this. It is amazing to me that I have been given this second chance at life. I hope to take advantage of every opportunity. I am even looking forward to doing this again next year!

FIRST ANNIVERSARY!

One year ago today, I had life saving surgery that not only prolonged my life, but has improved the quality of my life immeasurably. I have never regretted making this choice. And I hope to never take this gift and opportunity at a second chance for granted.

Shortly after having the surgery, I decided that I wanted to run a 5K. (I don't know what I was thinking!) I invited my family - of very fit people - to join me and I was really excited that so many of them were willing to do so. I have spent the past year training and have had some ups and downs, but last week was the day.

My dad and I went to pick up the race packet for everyone in our family. They were organized by bib number, which was determined by when you registered.

Here are the 14 bibs for our family. We actually had 16 racers, but the two youngest kids didn't get registered.

Here are some of us before the race. My kids and mom did the mile race instead of the 5K. Pictured here with me and David are my dad, my sister in law, Shanelle, and her four boys. My brother, Erik, had started running from his house about 20 minutes away and caught up with us shortly after the race started.

We didn't run the whole thing. We probably ended up running about a third of it. David could have run me into the ground, but he wanted to stay with me. Gotta love him.

Here is a shot of all the racers. We are joined here by my mom and kids, my brother Scott, his wife, Beth, and their two children.

I later found out that neither of my amazing sister in laws had ever run a 5K before. They are both incredibly physically fit, but they trained for the 5K so they could do it with me. I really lucked out in the sister-in-law department.

You can go HERE to see the results, locate a specific runner and even watch them cross the finish line. As you can see from the awesome certificate I can print for myself, I took 70 out of 77 for my age group. At least I wasn't last!

I was so proud of myself, I wore my medal all day.

Two of my siblings weren't able to run with me. My sister, Tiffani, was in the Outer Banks in North Carolina, but she ran anyway, just to show her support of me. Here is her facebook post about the occasion:

I am so blessed to have so much support. I belong to a couple of support groups and I often read of others who do not have the support of family or loved ones. That has never been the case for me.

Perhaps most shocking of all is the fact that I agreed to run the swimming leg of a triathlon with David and Shanelle next week. I am TERRIFIED, but really excited to try it. The swim is 1/2 mile. I tested myself in a swimming pool last week and was able to swim the half mile in 32 minutes. It will be completely different in open water. Erik and I are going to a local reservoir tomorrow so I can practice. I even squoze myself into my dad's wetsuit. (Not pretty!)

My life is so different from what it was a year ago. I am truly blessed to have been given this second chance.

One Year Bariatric Visit

I'm going to be out of town on the anniversary of my surgery so I had my annual follow-up today. At the appointment, they took my photo and measured my waist. Then they gave me the picture and the one they took of me at my first bariatric appointment. I was most surprised at the change in my waistline. It's 34 cm. smaller. That's just over 13 inches - over a foot - off my waist! That's hard to even wrap my mind around.

I was disappointed because my blood pressure was 122/84, which is slightly higher than normal (less than 120/80). I was hoping it would be closer to where it was at my last two doctor's appointments so we could try and take me off the blood pressure medicine. Oh well.

My vitamin D and Magnesium are in the normal range, but just barely. I'll probably have to keep taking pills for those the rest of my life. The rest of my labs were all normal.

I finally got fed up with my thin hair and decided to wack it all off. It didn't turn out exactly like I hoped, but I think after it grows out just a little it will be great. It does feel good to have it all short and ready to start over. I hope it grows in healthier.

11 Months!

I can't believe I am almost to the one-year mark. In some ways it seems like I just had surgery, but in others my life has changed so drastically that it seems it was years ago. I think the biggest benefit of the surgery is that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I have no illusions about how I look. I still weigh over 200 pounds and I will always have saggy skin, but for the first time in my life, I am happy with my physical appearance. I even wear a swimsuit without worrying about it. This is life altering for me in a way that is impossible to convey. As a child, I used to pray over and over that I would wake up and find that I had been living in a dream and that I was really thin. I would hope that I would find that my body was a fat suit that I could unzip and take off. In a way, I feel like that is what has happened this year. I have stepped out of my fat suit.

I often ask David to show me people who look like I looked or I try to compare myself to people that we see. David doesn't notice weight, so he has a hard time doing this. Yesterday, David and I were at a park and he pointed to a woman sitting on a nearby bench. He told me that he thought she was about the size I was before surgery. I was shocked. I wanted to cry - first for that poor woman who was trapped in that body and secondly because I couldn't bear to think of myself that way. I am so grateful for this new life I have been given.

The dress in my picture this month isn't very fitted and doesn't show my weight loss, until you compare it to it used to look like on me. The thing that surprised me the most is how long the dress is now. It's actually too big, so I don't know if I should wear it anymore.

Heaviest weight: 296.5

Surgery weight: 274.5

Today's weight: 206.6 

(I've been down as low as 205.4)
Total pounds lost: 89.9 lbs.

Starting BMI: 49

Today's BMI: 34.4

My only downsides are my continued hair loss and the fact that I think my face looks older. I have always had thick, beautiful hair and it is so thin now. Not just the fact that there's not much of it, but I also feel like the actual strands of hair aren't as thick and full as they used to be. It's okay. I'll take the trade off. On the plus side, my hair hasn't been this curly since I was a little girl. In the below picture, all I did was add some gel and run my fingers through it. The curls are 100% natural. I don't love the front of my hair though, so I think I'm going to cut it super short.

Highlights of the past month have been impressing the first graders with my jump roping skills and stick dancing at the Relief Society luau. I wouldn't have been able to do either a year ago. I even did a few cartwheels this month! I'm still hoping to be under 200 pounds by my one-year anniversary and I'll be running the 5K a couple of days before then. So here's hoping for a great month!

One challenge I worry about is my sweet Baylie. She is really worried about her weight. She worries that one day she will need my surgery. I don't know how to help her with this. Because I grew up so focused on my body, we have tried very hard not to do that with our kids, but we live in a body-focused society and she hears it somewhere. We're trying to focus on eating healthy and getting exercise and teaching our children that all people are built differently and our body shape doesn't matter. She still worries that her belly is too big and she even cries about it sometimes. I don't know how to undo that.

Still Got Milk?

About six months ago, I posted about the trouble I have with milk ever since surgery. Today David made me a protein shake. Within five minutes, I felt like I was completely wiped out and needed to lay down. I commented to David that it felt like my shake had been made with milk instead of almond milk. He realized that he forgot and had made it that way. I was shocked to find that my body still reacted the same way and that even though I had no idea he had used milk, the effect was definitely the same - although not quite as drastic. It's so weird because I have no trouble at all with other dairy products.

I think I'll go take a nap!